Man Admits to Wrongdoings in Own Obituary - as part of the news series by GeoBeats.
A man in Salt Lake City who wrote his own obituary has turned it into a confession of sorts. While suffering from throat cancer which he blames on years of smoking cigarettes, Val Patterson wrote his obituary at age 59, finally owning up to stealing a safe in 1971 from the Motor View Drive Inn, rolling a rock into the Old Faithful geyser and receiving a PhD Diploma with only three years of college under his belt, through a fluke at the University of Utah. “What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn't even graduate,” said Patterson’s official obituary.
He claims that he never figured out what the acronym PhD even stood for. He apologized to his coworkers, who apparently never suspected a thing.
Patterson also came clean about being banned for life from Disneyland and Sea World San Diego. He and his wife were married for 33 years, and Patterson lists his only regret as not living longer to spend more time with her.
