Parenting: Getting Kids to Be Quiet in Public - as part of the expert series by GeoBeats. Hi, I am Dr. Laura Markham of ahaparenting.com. I am often asked by parents about one of the biggest problems that many parents face, which is "How can I help my child cooperate, and behave appropriately, when we are in a public place such as a restaurant or a theater or the grocery store?" Kids are famous for their meltdowns in grocery stores. Well, the first thing you can do is do not take your child to one of these places if you know that they are ready to have a meltdown. Most meltdowns are caused by kids being overtired, hungry, or over-stimulated. They are just really at the end of their rope, and too much stimulation is bombarding them if you have got a hypersensitive kid. So first of all, just do not take your kid. And be prepared to leave if it turns out it is not an appropriate place, either because your child is just too young, or your child has had a hard day and really cannot cope with whatever this is. I know, we have high hopes. We are going to take our kid to see The Nutcracker, and we have got her dressed up so beautifully and it is all so exciting and we spent a lot of money on the tickets. And we get in there, and our kid is so overexcited that she has a complete tantrum if we will not spend the extra 25 dollars and buy her the special souvenir of some sort, right? We have all been there, and unfortunately the only thing you can do is take your child out of that space, calm her down outside or maybe in the public bathroom, and then hopefully she is calmed down enough to go back in. But it is really not fair to the other patrons, obviously, for your child to be acting out. Now that is a more extreme example. What if your child is just being rambunctious in the restaurant, for instance, and cannot sit still in her seat? Well in that case you take your child out of the restaurant — after you have ordered — to run around a little bit outside, and then you go back in. Let's say your little guy is three years old. By the time food arrives, the food should keep him busy for a little while, and then maybe, maybe, it is the only time I recommend giving kids phones with apps on them to play with, but maybe you can do that. Or maybe there can be some other little thing that he loves to play with that he can have while you finish your meal. But I would just say that if you are going to take your kid to a restaurant, you have to know that it might be that each parent will take shifts eating while the other one is walking your kid around outside. Because it is a lot, and sometimes kids really cannot handle sitting still at a restaurant. I would say that the final thing is as kids get older, of course they are much more able to handle these things, and it is really important to talk before you even go into the restaurant about what is appropriate behavior. It is not appropriate behavior to run around. You know, the waitstaff is trying to serve people dinners, and it is just a dangerous and inappropriate thing for kids to be running around a restaurant. So wherever you go with your kids, they are very open to your guidance when they are little, and do some little role-playing before you even go in, and you will get a great, wonderful family evening out of it.
