NOTE - Nikita uses she/her pronouns. She no longer identifies as trans. She identifies as female.
A woman who underwent a double mastectomy aged 19 after identifying as a trans man for seven years has decided to “de-transition”.
Nikita Teran, 24, grew up as a female but began to identify as a man aged 17.
She started taking testosterone aged 18 and even underwent a mastectomy aged 19.
But after three years as identifying as a man, Nikita started to explore her femininity – dressing in “girly” clothes on weekends and in gay clubs.
She stopped taking testosterone after experiencing painful symptoms such as painful orgasms, cramps and spotting, she said.
Nikita said she started to feel she was taking a more female role sexually and decided she wanted to "de-transition".
She started the process in February 2023 – going through treatment to lose her facial hair and had voice therapy to regain a higher pitch.
Now she finally feels “comfortable” in her body and herself.
Nikita, a nursing student, from Stockholm, Sweden, said: “I was sort of having this double life – living as a girl on the weekends and a man during the week.
“When I turned 19, I had a double mastectomy.
“With my chest – I’m comfortable with it.
“I don’t care about getting a breast reduction.
“I’m excited to start exploring this new identity.
“I’m feeling good.”
Nikita didn’t have any strong feelings about 'being a boy' when she was growing up.
She said: “I was a tomboy growing up. I liked playing with cars and climbing trees.
“Later in my teens I didn’t really fit in with other girls.
“I was more comfortable expressing myself as ‘boyish’.”
Nikita said she didn’t realise it at the time but says she started to develop gender dysphoria and aged 16 she went to see a doctor about her feelings.
She said: “I felt something was wrong.
“At the end of the treatment I said ‘I don’t want to be a girl’.”
Nikita was referred to a centre for transgender people aged 17 and was put on testosterone when she turned 18 – and changed her name legally to Nicholas.
It took six months before Nikita saw any changes but then started to see her facial hair grow and voice deepen.
She said: “I was feeling really good.
“I was really happy.”
Nikita then went onto have a double mastectomy aged 19.
She said: “Once it healed it felt great.”
She stayed on testosterone until aged 22 when she started to experience some side effects.
Nikita said: “I got bad effects so stopped for a while, with the intention of starting again.
“I had bad cramps and spotting and random pains.”
By this point Nikita was content with her voice and facial hair so decided to stop all together – and continued to identify as a man.
At aged 20, she had started to explore her sexuality too and gradually started to feel “weird”.
She said: “The longer I explored the more I noticed I started felling weird.
“I started taking the female role in the bedroom.
“By 23, I got to the point where I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.
“I was looking for ways to express my femininity.
“I started looking like a fem boy.”
Nikita felt “excited” to start exploring this new identity and would dress up in comfortable spaces in girly clothes.
She continued to present as a man throughout the rest of the week – and to her family.
She said: “I started at gay clubs – expressing my femininity.”
Gradually Nikita started to realise that she wanted to identify as female again and reached out to the clinic in December 2022.
She started to de-transitioning in February 2023 and changed her pronouns in November 2023, and now identifies as female.
Nikita said: “I was having to accept that everything else is a mistake.
“I don’t want to feel so resentful or upset about it.
“I’m getting help for facial hair removal and voice therapy.
“It will take some time to adjust.
“I’m feeling better.”
