Parents reckon kids should get pocket money aged nine, a mobile at 11 and social media aged 13

2023-09-13 452

Parents believe kids should be able to play in the garden unsupervised from the age of eight, get pocket money at nine and pick out their own snacks once they turn 10.

A poll of 1,300 parents of six to 16-year-olds found they typically consider children to be old enough to pack their own lunch box from 11 and use the internet unsupervised at 12.

Mobile phones are considered appropriate after their 11th birthday, while social media accounts should wait until 13.

Six in 10 (59 per cent) have struggled to give their child more freedom due to worries about their health and safety and whether they are too young.

Others are concerned they won’t make sensible choices (39 per cent), they’ll grow up too quickly (34 per cent) or that their health, nutrition and wellbeing will suffer (28 per cent).

But parenting expert Olivia Edwards, who is working with vitamin supplement company Vitabiotics Wellkid, which commissioned the research, claims it’s important for parents to recognise that their role is to support and guide their child to help them navigate life successfully – and that they won’t always be there to tackle challenges for them.

While giving children independence can help them to adapt and build their resilience through personal experience.

Oliva Edwards, from www.thepositiveparentcoach.co.uk, said: "Getting the balance right between wanting to protect your child as well as preparing them for the world can be hard.

“We all want our children to grow up to be confident, independent and resilient adults and this starts in childhood by giving them opportunities to learn, make mistakes and grow. But it’s a lot easier said than done.

“Allowing children to do things for themselves can make parents feel they aren’t needed anymore and remind them of how much their child has grown and how quickly time is passing by.

“It can be helpful for parents to reframe this as what a great job they are doing in fostering important life skills in their children and knowing that their child can always come back to them for help if they need it.”

The study also found 53 per cent of parents weren’t prepared for the emotional wrench of giving their children more independence.

And while 30 per cent want their child to be independent when it comes to their food, 54 per cent worry about the health and nutritional impacts of this.

Parents found some of the hardest decisions for giving independence to children aged six to 11 are letting them go out with friends unsupervised (41 per cent), when to walk to school with friends (36 per cent) and having access to electronic devices and the internet (36 per cent).

For older children aged 12-16, letting the child stay home while the parents were out (38 per cent) and letting them have a social media account (37 per cent) were the most difficult choices.

Despite this, almost every parent polled (99 per cent), via OnePoll, thinks it’s important to give their child more independence, with 63 per cent believing it helps them

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