My Child Hits Me
Sometimes our children show hostile actions that make us angry at them. And we might reflexively reply in a similar hostile manner. This is a very bad idea. When your child is being aggressive you are required to stop the hostility in a peaceful manner, because you must understand that he’s not able to express himself. Your child is probably frustrated, and this is the only way to get your attention. Especially for children who are not yet able to speak.
I’m going to suggest how to respond peacefully to your child’s aggression in three different scenarios, in order to stop the action without ever hitting your child. In the three cases of hitting, biting and hair pulling, you’ll be able to stop your child in the ways that I’m going to show you right now.
Imagine that your child is rushing towards you trying to hit you. What are you going to do is this: You will receive his lower arms into your hands, stop his motion this way holding them up high while talking to him and saying that he cannot hit Mum or Dad or anyone because it’s not friendly. Keep holding the arms up high while applying little pressure. What will happen is that he will get tired as his arms are now slightly aching, and gradually he will stop hitting you. If you do that every time he tries to hit you or his siblings, by simply holding his arms like this, saying that he “cannot hit your mom or dad, or your brother or sister” – gentle without yelling – and eventually he will know that every time he hits someone this will happen. In the end he will stop hitting others.
The second scenario: If your child tries to bite you, what will you do then? Press with two fingers between his jaws on the muscle that he’s using to bite. It will make him open his mouth and you can get your finger out.
The third scenario is when your child tries to pull out your hair. What you should do is to move his hand closer to you, so that you feel less pain, then press with your thumb in the middle of the back of his hand. His hand will hurt him very slightly and his grip will loosen and he won’t be able to pull hard. Then you’ll be able to set your hair free.
Every time he tries to show any of these aggressive behaviours, and if he will find the same consistent reactions from you, then he will eventually stop, and you won’t be hurting his feelings by hitting him back or insulting him. And so you’ll be able to maintain a good relationship with your child.
I wish you the best of luck!
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