Why I want to be alone - an introverts perspective. \r
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When I spend time around people in social situation or just around people in general, I absorb the energy of the place and the way people feel in it. This makes me lose my balance and I dont feel like my normal self. I dont like feeling this way, which has led me to make choices in my life where I can protect my need for alone time.\r
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Before I knew how sensitive I was to the disruptive energy of other people, I used to have normal jobs where I worked around a lot of people. This was difficult for me as I would always feel very drained. I never had energy left for myself after a day at work.\r
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I now organise my life to protect my need for time alone. If you knew about how much time I spend alone, you might even feel sorry for me because it is not the way that most people live. However, this is the only way I know to protect my energy.\r
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I dont like to be alone all the time. I do like to connect with people very deeply. But I can only do this at particular times. I cant socialise all the time. I have to choose my relationships and how much I am willing to engage with people. I have found that being selfish about the way that I socialise allows me to maintain my energy. The rest of the time I am happiest alone.\r
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There are a lot of things I do by myself such as going to cafes or going on holiday alone. It is no problem for me to do anything alone.\r
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Due to the f that I am a highly introverted person, it can cause problems in relationships. As an introvert in a relationship with an extrovert, I found that my need for alone time was not understood. If you are in a relationship with an extrovert, they may misinterpret your need for alone time as being a sign that you dont care about them or that you dont want to spend time with them. This is not true. Its just that you need a lot of time alone so that you can recharge your energy.\r
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I have also experienced being in a relationship with someone even more introverted than I am. This didnt really work. We each needed so much alone time that it didnt really feel like a relationship. It can work if you have equal needs for social interion match.\r
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As an introvert, its difficult to be in a relationship because you have to lose a lot of alone time. This is a difficult thing to adjust to and can stop you from having normal relationships because you are reluctant to share your time with another person. I am hoping that one day I will strike a balance where I have more social interion in my life through learning how to manage my energy better.\r
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If youre in a relationship with an introvert and you are an extrovert, try to understand that your introverted partner needs a lot of time and space to be alone. It doesnt mean that you are not loved. However, if you find this very difficult to deal with, you have to realise that this problem in your relationship isnt going to go away. Introverts need alone time to keep calm and balanced. Demanding an introvert to spend time with you will make them feel stressed and ignores the introverts need to recharge by themselves. You will both need to compromise a little.\r
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Do you fit any of the 4 groups below?\r
(1) You are shy\r
(2) You used to be shy\r
(3) You are secretly shy\r
(4) You are shy when speaking a foreign language\r
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