"If you can bounce in six inch heels all night
And still walk home in your bare feet
If you can keep two passions burning bright
And see there`s still some romance in defeat
If you can hit a foreign beach without a tan
Or brave the howling sleet in just a shirt
If you know you are easily the better man
When side by side with suits in just a skirt
If you can picnic in the pelting rain
With kamikaze midgies in the mud
Or grit your teeth and put up with the pain
Of seeing in the New Year in the scud
If you can wait and wait for 1p change
Then proudly give the lot to charity
And know for certain it`s not strange
To call lunch dinner and your dinner, tea
If you can handle folk who call you jock
Then you`ll have really earned your Irn–Bru
You’ll thank your Mum for keeping you in stock
And what is more, you`ll feel phenomenal too."
