I know that when I came out as trans, the biggest change was not in going from male to female; it
was going from being a person with a secret to a person without one — at least that one, anyway.
In writing my most recent novel, about a woman whose family doesn’t know her history,
I talked to a woman whose husband did not know his wife was born a different gender.
“Survivor” is a reality show, but the issues that Mr. Smith had to deal with — and its potential manipulation by the Jeff Varners of the world — are ones
that many people, both trans and not, have had to confront: What private information is ours to keep?
There are many people like Mr. Smith, who live in what used to be called “stealth.” But since
that word implies, à la Mr. Varner, that transgender people are deceptive, it’s not as common today.
For others, sexual intimacy is less the point than the emotional kind; I know a woman who has no qualms about sleeping with men who don’t know her history,
but the moment she finds herself falling in love, she feels morally obliged to share it.
Outed as Transgender on ‘Survivor’ — and in Real Life -
Jennifer Finney Boylan
There they were, gathered around the fire at Tribal Council on Wednesday night’s episode of “Survivor.” One of the contestants,
Jeff Varner, in a last-ditch attempt to keep himself from being voted off the show, turned to a man by his side.
