Hi, my name is Nicole Davis, I provide divorce and mediation services in St. Louis Missouri.
One of the most common questions my clients ask me which is “How do I buy a house after divorce?”
Well the short answer is, you need to understand your new household budget, how the purchase of your new home fits into that budget, how you are going to pay for your new home and your list of must haves.
If you are financing your new home then you will want to be mindful of your credit history. Oftentimes, your credit history will determine two things:
- The interest rate on your loan and
- The down payment required.
For example, lets say that you are required to put 20% down on a new home. Then a $200,000 home will require you to have a down payment of $40,000.
Consider whether or not you are comfortable putting $40,000 down on a new home. If so, then you will need to determine where that money will come from. Now, I know that all of this “how to’ is helpful…here’s the thing…no one tells you that buying a new house after divorce will bring up a lot of emotions. These emotions can include fear, sadness, grief, and even anger.
All of these feelings are completely normal. Be kind to yourself…this is a very stressful time and there is no rule book telling you how to do this. The important thing is…pay attention to these feelings and figure out what it is that is causing you to feel this way.
Once we recognize our emotions we free up energy to working on solutions.
For example, perhaps you are embarrassed at the thought of explaining that you have to move out of the your community. Perhaps you are fearful that you will judged. Or maybe sad and feel like you are “out of the loop” with your social group.
Well, what if you could still live in your community? What if it just meant restructuring your finances so that you could still buy a home there? What if doing so meant that your new home isn’t the same size as your marital home? Would you be okay with that?
Would downsizing be worth it if it meant that you could still live comfortably, within your means and enjoy the same people and places that you’ve built your life around.
The point of this example is this…when my clients ask me “how do I buy a house after divorce” I know that it is about much more than just the numbers and the process. When we transition divorce and become single again we are forced to reshape our life. Nobody tells us this.
But there’s good news: “reshaping” doesn’t have to mean losing everything that we’ve come to know and love. We just need to take a look and figure out how it will all transition. Yes it is all new and unfamiliar, but perhaps it all transitions into something more wonderful than we could ever imagine.
If you are getting divorced or want to know more about your divorce options or if you are looking for a mediator in Missouri or Illinois then visit our website at https://mediationservicesllc.com
