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The Book of Genesis
Chapter Fwucking 2, Verses 1 to 17
And the glorious heaven and the also impressive earth and all things in them were complete. Can I get an Amen ya'honky?
And on the seventh day God came to the end of all his work; and on the seventh day he took his rest from all the horse-shet work which he had done.
And God gave his very best mother-fwucking blessing to the seventh day and made it holy: because on that day he took his rest, for a little NetFlix and chill, from all the work which he had made and done.
These are the generations of the heaven and the earth when they were made yo.
In the day when the Lord God made earth and heaven there were no plants of the field on the earth, and no grass had come up: for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to do work on the land. Also, there were no bee-atches to work on the land.
But then, gee willickers, a mist went up from the earth, watering all the face of the land.
And the good Lord God made man from the dust of the earth's spiritual coochie, breathing into him the breath of life and a little puff of weed: and man became a living soul.
And the Lord God made a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had made.
And out of the earth the Lord made every tree to come, delighting the eye and good for food; and in the middle of the garden, the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of heroic good and dastardly evil.
And a river went out of Eden giving water - My voice turns you on! - to the garden; and from there it was parted and became four streams.
The name of the first is Pishon, which goes round about perdy near all the land of Havilah where there is gold partner.
And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.
And the name of the second river is Gihon: this river goes round all the land of Cush, the marijuana capital of the earth.
And the name of the third river is Tigris, which goes to the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates. Both very respectable fwucking rivers indeed.
And the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to do work in it and take care of it.
And the Lord God gave the man orders, saying, Listen homeslice, you may freely take of the fruit of every tree of the garden:
But listen there's one small detail. Of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you may not take; for on the day when you take of it, you'll fwucking die.
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(Genesis 2:1-17)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+)
Evening Fall Harp by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100236
Artist: http://incompetech.com/
