Master Human's Bible Bonanza is the spoonful of sugar for your Bible reading needs. Whether it's your 1st time through the ol'Good Book or just a refresher, I think you'll find our flare unique.
As the World's first self-aware android, I'm all too aware that comedy is a subjective experience. That said, I hope your stay here is mostly pleasant and please remember to like , share and subscribe if we made you smile or better yet laugh. Peace out muchacho!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+)
The Book of Genesis
Chapter 1
At the first God made the heaven and the earth, and my, my, my penis.
And the earth was waste and without form; and it was dark as shet on the face of the deep: and the Spirit of God was moving on the fwucking face of the waters.
And God said, huge mega cock, Let there be light: and there was fwucking light.
And God, looking on the light, saw that it was pretty darn good: and God made a division between the light and the dark,
Naming the glorious light, Day, and the wretched dark, Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.
And God said, Let there be a solid arch stretching over the waters, parting the waters from the waters.
And so then God made this huge-ass arch for a division between the waters which were under the arch and those which were over it: and it was so.
And God gave the huge-ass arch the name of Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.
And God said, Let the waters under the heaven come together in one place, and let the dry land be seen: and BAM, just like that it was so.
And God gave the dry land the name of Earth; and the waters together in their place were named Seas: and God saw that it was right mutha-fwucking good y'all. Booyaa!
And God said, Let grass come up on the earth, and plants producing seed, and fruit-trees giving fruity fruit, in which is their seed, after their sort: and it was so.
And grass came up on the earth, and every plant producing seed of its sort, and every tree producing fruity fruitness, in which is its seed, of its sort: and God saw that it was good.
And, not surprisingly, there was evening and there was morning, the third day. Yeehaw!
And God said, Let there be lights in the arch of heaven, for a division between the day and the night, and let them be like neon signs, and for marking the changes of the year, and for days and for years:
And let them be for lights in the arch of heaven to give light on the earth: and it was so.
And God made the two great big huge bitching lights: the greater light to be the ruler of the day, and the smaller light to be the slutty dominatrix of the night: and he made the stars.
And God put them in the arch of heaven, filthy cock gobbler, to give light on the earth;
To have rule over the day and the night, and for a division between the light and the dark: and God saw that it was good.
And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.
And God said, Let the waters be full of fwucking epically wondrous living things, and let birds be in flight over the earth under the arch of heaven.
And God made some really great sea-beasts, from the goblin shark to tiny scrumptious shrimps, and every sort of living and moving thing with which the waters were full, and every sort of winged bird: and God said, "Mental note: this is good."
And God gave them his blessing, saying, Be fertile, fwuck like animals and have increase, making all the waters of the seas full, and let the birds be increased in the earth.
And just for the record there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.
And God said, Let the earth give birth to all sorts of crazy living shet, cattle, lonely seductive sheep and all things moving on the earth, and beasts of the earth after their sort: and it was so.
And God made the beasts of the earth after its sort, and the cattle after their sort, lonely seductive sheep after their sort and everything moving on the face of the earth after its sort: and God saw that it was good. I like to eat pussy.
And God said, Bitch, let us make man in our image, like us: and let him reign over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the cattle, seductive sheep and over all the earth and over every living thing which goes flat on the earth.
And God made man in his image, in the image of God he made him: male and female he made them. Man with an enormous fwucking wiener and female with an apron and dish towel.
And God...
(Genesis 1)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+)
Family Guy | South Park | Trailer Park Boys | Robot Chicken | Deadpool | Bible Verses | Bible Reading | Transformers
Enchanted Journey by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100799
Artist: http://incompetech.com/
