You have more power than you think! Here's how you can cope: http://www.yourtango.com/2015274443/do-not-make-these-3-big-divorce-mistakes
There is nothing pleasant about getting a divorce. From losing your identity as "Mrs." to managing the rolling waves of grief that can keep you up all night and make you feel like a zombie all day, getting divorced sucks.
Experts galore tell us that it's normal to feel overwhelmed, distraught and stressed, in fact it's really just par for the course. The trick is to not let your hurt feelings cause you to do things that you'll regret later on in your life.
So given that you're in this rocky boat, how can you make things smoother for yourself?
Here's the brutal truth. There is no quick fix that'll lessen the blow. But, the way that you approach your divorce will ultimately leave you with either a peaceful separation or a difficult (not to mention exhausting) one. Either way, you're in for one heck of a ride. How you take your medicine is up to you.
To understand what gets in the way of people having an amicable divorce, we took this question to Divorce Coach Dr. Karen Finn. She shocked us by revealing the biggest mistakes that people make when they end their marriages. She also gets into the nitty gritty of how you can stop yourself from repeating them.
Couples, she says, "who do [make mistakes when getting a divorce] have one thing in common. They believe that they're victims. Now, it's easy to understand that you might feel a little like a victim when you're going through a divorce because everything that you hoped your life would be isn't [realistic] anymore."
And she has a point! If you go through life blaming others instead of really thinking about your role in what's happened and how YOU can change, fail to see the opportunity in front of them to change their ways. When you fail to see your part in your relationship's demise, your mistakes are doomed to repeat themselves. In the end, the only person you hurt is yourself.
Remember that you control your actions.
Just as you choose who to marry, you can choose who you want to be now that your marriage is ending. Divorce is hard. Take a few minutes to really listen to Karen's advice and don't let your anger and sadness cloud your judgment.
If you want an amicable divorce that doesn't take over your life, her advice is just the medicine you need.
