Pervert steals bike seats for sexual licking satisfaction in Japan

2015-05-14 82

Japanese innovation is once again ahead of the West. You've heard of stealing ladies undies, or stealing ladies pictures, but now you can add stealing ladies bike seats to your necklace of ears.

A 35 year old man in Yokohama has confessed to being the elusive bike seat snatcher who has been terrorizing the area since January. When police went to Joji Kondo's home (that's first name Joji, family name Kondo, in case you were wondering), they found over 200 ill gotten leather bike seats. No word on whether they were arranged into some kind of shrine or a pretty suit made of women's bike-seat skin. Kondo claimed that he has an extraordinary sense of smell, and is able to distinguish between men's and women's bike seats by scent alone. We'll take his word for it.

But why leather bike seats in particular? Kondo says that the texture of leather bike seats is more pleasurable on the tongue and the material preserves the original rider's distinctive flavor better than synthetic ones. Once again, whatever you say, Joji. While his kink might not seem to pose too great a threat to public safety, except for inflicting a few very clenched bicycle rides on the local ladies, it could also be a gateway to bigger things. Today he's stealing bicycle seats, tomorrow it's leather car seats, then horse saddles, rappelling harnesses, wetsuits, office chairs, park swings from crappy derivative soap operas, then one day he's snatching asses right off the stems.

But today, the women of Yokohama can rest a bit easier knowing their bike seats will still be there when they need them. As for the women whose bike seats have been recovered from Mr. Kondo's house, they're not exactly lining up to get them back. Yuck.

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