Justin Bieber mustache: 19-year-old singer grows facial hair, becomes a man

2015-05-14 3

Justin Bieber mustache! Yes, if it were anyone else growing facial hair for the first time, no one would care. But this is Justin Bieber!

As of this writing, there are more than 100 articles in Google News devoted to Justin Bieber's new mustache. Most of the publications are mocking him hard. And who can blame them? As mustaches go, Bieber's barely qualifies. It looks more like he's just eaten a peach and forgotten to wipe the fuzz from his upper lip, thus confirming our shallowest suspicions about the effeminate singer: he's not a man. Not a man like you or I. Yet, somehow, Selena Gomez is his girlfriend and she's smoking hot.

Justin Bieber debuted his new mustache at the New York Fashion week. But fashionable this mustache is not. It's more like a small caterpillar has crawled on his lip and died. If it were a little bit thicker, it could be a 1970s-style Freddie Mercury mustache. That would be cool. But looking at it, an observer immediately feels something is not quite right ... the observer feels the incompleteness of Bieber's mustache. You look at Bieber and practically want to will his mustache into being. You see the mustache that could be. Not the one that Justin Bieber has decided to venture out in public with.

One wonders if Justin Bieber owns any mirrors. Or if the people in his life aren't being honest with him. He's probably surrounded with sycophants and yes men. BIEBER: "Hey, how does my mustache look?" SYCOPHANT: "Looks great, Biebs!" That's how a pop star who is worth gazillions of dollars winds up with a mustache most high school students would get ridiculed for sporting.

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