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A Murfreesboro, Tennessee man was arrested last week after attempting to get awfully well-acquainted with an automated teller machine and a picnic table bench, according to a New York Daily News report.
When Lonnie Hutton, 49, reportedly walked into the Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro on Friday night, an apparently sexy ATM machine caught his eyes.
We say, apparently sexy, because that's the only explanation we can think of to describe what he did next.
Hutton, not one for foreplay, allegedly dropped trou, as well as underwear, and attempted to penetrate one of the devices "orifices".
After the unsuccessful attempt, the half-naked man began to strut his stuff around the establishment for all to see until police arrived.
He wasn't quite done yet, though.
Hutton was escorted outside, where he apparently demonstrated a fondness for picnic tables that would put even Yogi Bear to shame.
The frisky drunk allegedly began humping the bench.
Hutton was booked for public intoxication and is scheduled to appear in court on July 1st.
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