Senior sex: Drunken debauchery and partying at Florida’s The Villages retirement home

2015-04-14 207

Hey TomoNewsers! We just found the perfect retirement center for you!

Welcome to what’s known as “Disney World for old people”: The Villages! Florida’s wildest retirement community that’s home to some 100,000 swingin’ seniors!

From a male perspective, the first great thing about The Villages is math: 10 women to every man.

Booze at The Villages is cheap, and more than one grandpappy or mammy has gotten in trouble for drunk driving in the golf carts they use to get around.

Ever wanted to try wife-swapping, swinging, threesomes or more? No problem! The Villages has a thriving black market in Viagra that will keep you ‘up’ all night!

Pregnancy worries long behind them, these folks spend a lot of time screwing around. Just last week a 68-year-old woman was arrested for drunk public sex with a man 19 years her junior!

Sure, there are a few downsides. The Villages has some of the highest rates of STD’s in the U.S., but hey, what’s a little Chlamydia among friends?

Stop by the Villages in the daytime and you’ll find a death-like tranquility...but as soon as the sun sets--it’s PARTY TIME!

So there you go...we just helped you figure out your retirement plans. No thank yous needed.

TomoNews is always glad to help.

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