It's raining. My energy drained, I feel the pain. A deep, throbbing, neverending beat; agonising drumming from my head to my feet. Though now faded and pale, my arm will always have those scars; my past will always be lurking - I can never run far. I never gave up; believe me I tried, to make it through despite that I nearly died. All those times I tried so hard to be strong, but I felt when I was right the world insisted I was wrong. I always tried to believe that you should never say never, but I knew at the same time I couldn't hold on forever. Depression clouded my mind and I was deceived; it stole away my dreams; forced me not to achieve. I couldn't save myself; I needed help from another; but with no family to turn to, I imagined up a brother. His non-existance tortured me so for my sanity I lied; I needed him to be there when I screamed, hurt and cried. The main reason I'm not dead is because of my imagination; it gave me a sanctuary through the hate and the frustration. But I needed my future, not a place to hide; but no-one understood - all said my time I must bide. But why should I suffer and still have to wait, through deadly self-harm and suffocating heartbreak? All I want in this life is for my dreams to come true; if only they saw; if only they knew.
Alex Daydream
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if-only-they-knew-5/
