I dropped off my heart
Like a kid at daycare on a warm sunny day
And while the children laugh and play outside
I sit alone wondering when mine will come home
But my heart will never be returned
An existential death that has come over me
For in my paradoxal constant of sinful reminders
Tells me my fate, and it is worse than death
Fated to love, and be shattered at best
With blood just to waste, drowning in it, my regrets
Such a capricious body I used to possess
Until I found the one that would ease all of my pain
And the minute that she hung me out to dry
Time to hang myself, but it can’t be that simple
Gutted grand juries sing verdicts in my mind
Of what punishment shall be thrown on the hopeless
All the pain I deserve, and never to stop loving her
Never to be myself again
She is me and I am her, we were always the same
To blind myself, and deafening horrors
Make feelings escape and make crying instinct
Caught in the net that I sewed for myself
Hung from the limb that I sat on to think
Belief that if I stare long enough into the sky
I can fly with the angels
But they will force me to be alive
My own sweetest angel
Holds a knife to my throat, a gun to my head
Forever I will live in this pain.
Christopher's Dead
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/continuous-burning-the-sun-creates-for-me-a-shadow-to-hide-my-shame/
