I have been lost in my head for too long,
Pondering thoughts that I should leave unharmed.
My future's been knocked around
So many times now, you can see the scars
Inlaid deep in the sides of my head,
Holes made bigger than bullets, I dread
That I'll never be left alone,
Though I'm lonelier than I've ever been.
Please stop this heartbeat of my mind,
It runs around breaking the binds
Between sanity and commitment,
And I take it all, it does not relent.
I am awake in the dead of night,
Though my body's asleep, I still feel the fright.
If your heart takes control, and it's love it brings,
Then why when I'm awake do I feel asleep?
This doubt makes me want to revert to tears,
Stringing up tight knots from repressing my fears.
But I think now the problem's not me,
When I close my eyes, all I see is you
Occupying roles in the scenes of my dreams,
Once played by slut nobodies I deam
No feelings toward then there's you,
Whom I care for unconditionally.
Why have you forced this love on me?
Causing my eyes blind and my heart to see
That it's you who won't let me live,
But it's me who wants all you have to give.
I am awake in the dead of night,
No I'm not asleep, but a corpse in sight
Of a death-end road, of to where it brings
An end to it all, just to feel asleep.
I am awake in the dead of dusk,
You pull my strings, and I kill the trust.
But it's not your fault, you should know it's me
Who thinks it's all in a dream, though I'm not asleep.
Christopher's Dead
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/there-s-worse-ways-to-die-than-to-die-knowing-someone-loves-you-awake-asleep/
