As I hold this pen,
My mind shouts for suicide..
I look to my side,
I see the shiny razor blade..
But deep within me..
I say, no!
I won't let myself cut open new scars,
I won't let myself get lost...
I won't be my past..
The emptiness surrounds me now,
The cloud of sorrow rains on me,
Washing away my demented smile,
All of my thoughts rot in the box of darkness,
Here it goes, I whisper to my soul,
Here it goes, let it bleed,
Let it bleed all the hurt out,
Let the blood take over my life,
I wish I wasn't trapped,
I wish someone could of held the razor away,
I wish someone could of been here to wash away the tears of regret and defeat...
Now I stand facing the mirror,
I paint with my blood...
Wishing I wasn't the reflection infront of me,
Wishing I was someone worth a real try, worth honesty,
Worth care, Worth the truth..
But I've been worth nothing but lust, games, scars, lies,
Hatred, and it's been tearing me up in pieces for years!
I sit in my room, I look out through the window,
My eyes search for hope in the skies,
But the skies hold no hope for me...
I fall asleep with the ghosts on my sides,
Telling me...death will not be easy!
Petra Soliman
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-letter-of-hurt/
