To be in the face of Beauty-
and she was Beauty-
is intimidating;
there is the desire to
not be close
for being close intensifies the
sense of inadequacy.
It is a shock to be in the face of beauty
and there arises
at least for me
the desire to find just one flaw
to cling to.
I re-run that fleeting face
back through my mind
to find the way to sanity.
I don't have this view about Nature's beauty
which evidently I tolerate;
but personal beauty
is alive
inches from me everyday
which I face
at the elevator door,
which opens like
the doors of heaven
and there she is;
she and I
eye level to eye level
alone.
The awkward turn
to face the front;
arm-wrestling with the desire
to turn around to have another look;
the eyes themselves still resonate
with the image set
deep in the retina.
I can hear her breathe;
we two alone;
the elevator rising
I feel her there
at one point holding her breath
matching my withholding too.
Finally my floor;
relieved
I flee
confused
again by too much Beauty.
And she
I am sure
faired no better;
the tension was electric.
I sure she felt
I did not like her
nary ever a smile for her
stony silence
emanating from the back
of my neck.
I see her everyday
and nothing changes.
She is Beauty
and I am
intimidated.
We cannot be close.
or even friends.
It is that way I think
because
some people
churn my soul
especially the truly
beautiful ones.
Lonnie Hicks
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/too-close-and-beauty-hurts/
