Aunt Celia had said she dropped dead last week
and so she was buried alive next to her four cats and a dog
in the City's cemetery next to the fertilizer plant
where the grounds permeate green grass year round and the dead
it is said are reported to come back to life every night to mow the lawn
My brother said she looked good for someone of her advanced years
what with her full facial makeup on and a diet soda can lodged in her hand
in place of the usual scotch and soda on which she had choked
while swallowing a load of crap from her husband Charlie
when he and his mistress were caught in a compromising position
out in the shed behind the house where she was said to have seen Charlie
standing behind Cleo with his trousers down around his ankles and Cleo's dress rode up
over her head as she was supposedly looking for a mouse.....a trouser mouse
Aunt Celia always said she would kill Uncle Charlie if she ever caught him
and that she did and having shot him with a.357 in the groin she turned to shoot Cleo
But not before Cleo had parted Aunt Celia's sweet grey head with a rusted dull axe
My sister said the funeral was beautiful and smelled good as well as being attended
by all her friends the local gossip mongers along with their significant others
whose shoes were too small for their feet
So with broken toes she and a half dozen flies
were buried alive next to her four cats and two dogs
one of whom was Uncle Charlie..... Cleo was there with a smile like a Cheshire
but the cat had her tongue as she had been let off for time served...
2007 © T Sheridan
Ted Sheridan
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-want-to-be-cremated-so-i-can-t-return-from-the-dead/
