A cadet named Hieronymous Sears
went to town but found nothing but queers.
At a weight-watch café
he could not even say
if they wiggled their fronts or their rears.
When his wife said that sex was still great
and a peaceful and wonderful state,
he felt really flattered
that his little thing mattered.
He was lucky, at seventy-eight.
A German mechanic named Fritz,
had checked in for a week at the Ritz.
Called the desk for a maid
though 'twas not to get laid,
but to squeeze all the pus from his zits.
He had just been installed as the Pope.
But next morning was caught smoking dope.
Since the Vatican Rules
state that dope is for fools,
he was soon hanging high from a rope.
There once was a chancellor named Kohl.
He was fat and had only one goal.
He ate ever'thing fried
and the day that he died
he was buried and filled up the hole.
At an open air concert in Greece,
a big flock of Canadian geese
in the style of wild birds
dropped a volley of turds.
The conductor got hit by a piece.
In the tree near the church was a nest
it was comfy and faced to the west.
Said the mischievous bird
a formidable turd
it will hit him and maybe get blessed.
A young callgirl who'd travelled from France
was attending the Hutterite Dance.
When she drank far too much,
she said 'nobody touch,
'you must pay for your goods in advance.'
Herbert Nehrlich
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/limericks-a-few-more/
