My wife rode that cockroach for everything it was worth
Chasing it out of 'her' kitchen through the house and into 'my' den
Where it laid on our newly installed stain resistant carpet
Squashed to death by a pacifist and altruistic size eight and a half B
Waiting for an autopsy to be preformed by me....
The wife wants documentation and a full disclosure as to its sex
She wanted to know whether to expect
An invasion of little bastard creepy crawlers
I picked up the victim and resting it in the palm of my hand
I rolled it over and counted the segments on the ventral surface
Of the bug's depleted and vacated abdomen
Whereby I not only pronounced the bugger deceased
But I documented it was a female who had recently laid its larvae
Most likely in the carpet as it had been 'snug as a bug' and securely rolled
Before being installed in our pest free home....
That is if you don't count my wife's bird Chubby
And an occasional visit from my mother in law....
My wife didn't want to know anything but....how long will it take?
I explained to a distraught and anxious Insectophobia
The female contents herself with 'staying at home'
And calls to the male by emitting pheromones to attract her mate
'Oh my', said the wife....'They sound almost human'
I couldn't argue with that statement
Walking out the door to go to work I said, 'Call me later'
And I threw the dead bug to a bird sitting on my lawn
Who for lack of a better description
Looked like a blind squirrel searching for a nut
2007 © T Sheridan
Ted Sheridan
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-cockroach-left-no-instructions-as-to-its-final-remains/
