I can sum up my life in a hundred words or less....
I don't like ketchup on hotdogs...mustard and onions only
and that goes for burgers too....
Unless forced by necessity I never drink light beer...
I hate coffee...it even taste like shit with whiskey in it...
I like whiskey...tequila....bourbon....RUM...
I like potato vodka...and cranberry juice...
I never drink Scotch...it smells like death to me...
I was pronounced dead one morning after...
Most women hate Scotch too...
And I love women...short and fat...tall and skinny...matters not
But I love my wife most of all....
If I hadn't said that my life would be edited to ten words or less....
Ted Sheridan
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/platitudes-from-a-bartenders-guide-to-life/
