It is raining in Kingston-upon-Hull
But Queen Victoria is not amused.
Aloft on her plinth she proudly stares
Across the Square. She has been there
For nigh on a hundred years
Through two world wars,
When she and her sons and daughters
Survived the blitz and fought the foe.
She sent her children across the waters
Through storm and gale and over the waves
To rule an empire in her name
Despite all risks and dangers.
But now it is raining in Kingston-upon-Hull
Where monarchs guard
The august city’s ancient loos.
Queen Victoria’s loo has stood
For nigh on a hundred years,
An ever welcome comfort stop
For those who are in need.
Stone steps lead down to where,
As in a temple’s sanctum shine
The gleaming brass and porcelain
That’s welcomed generations.
Still free despite the Thatcher years
And always there when wanted.
Yet what is this? — The gates are locked —
The way is blocked to where the steps
And handrails lead down below,
Where we want to go. But see, the City Fathers
In a notice here address us —
We, sons and daughters of the Queen’s
Brave empire builders and adventurers
Who scoffed at risks and dangers.
“In the interests of health and safety,
These premises will be closed
During periods of rain
To prevent possible injury
Caused by slipping on wet steps.”
The Queen is not amused,
Nor are we!
Pete Crowther
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/queen-victoria-is-not-amused/