A long time ago
I tried to figure out
What it is about me
That makes me doubt
My confidence as relates
To the simpler gender
All my signals just
Return to sender
No confirmation
Or mutual attraction
Regardless of my efforts
There was no reaction
I tried make-up on my face
And around my eyes
But that didn’t help
It was just a disguise
And it gave me a rash
And an eye infection
Yet another obstacle
In my love connection
A new idea…cleavage
A wonder bra was suggested
But it hurt and pinched me
My theory went untested
I considered a tattoo
Across my lower back
Until I saw the needles and
Faked a heart attack
I was gonna get a piercing
In my belly-button
Show a little bling
And do some mall struttin’
I made it to the parlor
But chickened out again
I hid behind Leviticus
Claimed it was a sin
Next, a pair of low-rise jeans
And no idea was dumber
If I wanna see some butt-crack
I think I’ll call a plumber
I tried most ev’ry option
To overcome my low esteem
Almost threw in the towel
And tried the other team
But now I know the secret
To lure the opposite sex
The solution all along
Was my missing gag-reflex.
maggie signaigo
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/occam-s-razor/
