driving home from a stressful day of work last night,
I began thinking
about the absolute worst I ever felt my entire life.
it was her birthday,
just turning 18.
and she really was a sweet girl.
I drove her home
popped the trunk and pulled out her present:
it was my guitar (about $300 nicer than her p.o.s, and she could
play it much better than me) .
well, I had hand-sanded the finish right off the back of the guitar,
and with one of those
hot wood engravers, I burned a poem into the body.
then, I refinished the guitar,
forever crystallizing the poem on the back.
like a flower eternalized in amber. it took about
three days (including writing the poem)
and she looked at me-
her eyes a poem forever burned into my brain-
and said i love you.
of course, by that, she meant do you love me?
and to make a long story short(er) ,
I never really spoke to her again.
I was literally sick to my stomach that night.
enough sadness to fuel a cemetery.
that must have been a heart-uprooting feeling, for her.
abhorrent, detestable.
I remember she cried
I remember wanting to beat the unholy shit out of me.
I told myself, dammit, Jack, she’s going away to college
you can’t do the long distance thing!
but those were really just the stupid excuses
of a scared boy who didn’t want to be tied down at 20.
and, driving home last night,
my heart started working for the first time in months,
and I turned off the radio
and
drove home in silence.
(if you ever read this, Adriana, and if it’s any consolation,
I loved you, too and I’m sorry)
Happy Valentine’s Day
Jackson Riley
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-burned-a-poem-into-the-body/
