when my wife left, my son
would test me with small misbehaviors,
like the time he tilted his glass of water
far too much over the kitchen table.
don't do that, I said, you'll spill it,
and he tilted it further.
patiently, I said again, don't do that
and he tilted it further.
swearing to be patient, I told him again,
don't do that, it'll spill
and he tipped it over, flooding
the table and the floor.
so I yelled, I told you not to spill that
and he ran to me, crying,
saying let's make up, let's make up.
a little later, she took him
and wouldn't let me see him.
after six months, I saw him again
and I didn't recognize the kid
who went to sleep when I told him to,
cleaned his room without being told,
listened to anything I said,
but pulled away his body when I hugged him.
this didn't stop until I took him to the movies
to see snow white and he sat like an angel
and didn't ask for popcorn
and watched quietly until the scary part.
(I had forgotten there was a scary part.)
he jumped into my lap,
hid his face in my chest
and said hold me daddy, I'm scared.
and after that, he asked for popcorn
and soda and candy until I said no
and he pouted.
and he didn't clean his room
and objected to his bedtime
and talked back and made wise-ass jokes
and made fun of me when I got mad.
he said I asked my mommy every day
when can I see my daddy,
when will I talk to my daddy,
and she told me, your daddy doesn't care about you,
he doesn't love you and he doesn't want to see you,
but daddy,
I always knew you loved me.
Jesse Weiner
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/when-my-wife-left/
