Aunt Annie was a work of art,
she weighed some 19 stones.
A pretty face and being smart
she said 'my heavy bones
are what has broken every scale
and made our car go flat',
I toast her with a pint of Ale
and still can see her hat
which, filled with dumplings as it was
designed to draw attention
away from humdinger bras
the hams I will not mention.
One day when she was all alone
at home on their old farm
she heard the upstairs telephone
and, with a face of charm,
was on her way up narrow stairs
when loud the doorbell rang
she turned around to check affairs
downstairs, when a big Bang
was followed by a crashing door
a masked man stormed inside
she knew what this man had in store
for her, she loved her hide.
He came at her and grabbed her dress
when my dear Aunt got mean
she flung him to the floor, no less
and crushed him like a bean.
Her weight had saved the day alright
it had come in quite handy
to celebrate she ate all night,
much chocolate and more candy.
Herbert Nehrlich
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/aunt-annie-chubbenfresser/
