Please, please
don’t give me a spade
because I will dig a hole with it
and don’t give me a mountain
of affection
because I will only bury myself in it
don’t be kind to me
because I am unable to appreciate it
don’t accept me the way I am
because I will point out
all my faults ad nauseam
to try and convince you
that I am unworthy
don’t be generous or sweet or gentle
because I have been damaged so badly
that my withered spirit
only understands pain
don’t climb over the barbed wire fence
of my bitterness
because I can build a new one
faster than you can tear it down
And please, please don’t love me
because I can’t bear the fact
that I know I will hurt you
But above all
Please
please
don’t
leave me
Because I couldn’t bear to live another day without you
It is only in the whirlwind of this
horror that I have created
that I realise how you have helped me to heal
Abbi van den Berg
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/rehab-is-for-quitters/
