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Though I once had a regular gig writing about celebrities, I no longer keep up with the Kardashians. Sure, I already know she’s an actress, singer, and a socialite – sort of a Hollywood Kim of All Trades. I know she’s married to Kanye West. I know her dress recently almost fell off at some event or another (or so Google tells me). I know the Paparazzi follows her as keenly as vultures follow a staggering wildebeest. I also know there’s no way on God’s neon-lit Earth that Kim would ever become my BFF and help me launch a modelling career (though surely there’s a demand for chubby corgi-shaped models that barely break 5’0″, right? I gotta believe). But that’s the fun of video games: We’re thrust into wild fantasies where we slay dragons, and ride across the wild west.