Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand!
You don't need to use a condom.
You don't need a dental dam.
You don't need to say 'I Love You'
or 'Here's Fifty Dollars, Ma'am.'
Don't need to spring for dinner,
or wear all that sexy stuff.
All you need's a set of fingers
and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it,
all across the land.
Masturbators Of America,
Give Yourselves A Hand!
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it
ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip
between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it,
and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America,
Give Yourselves a Hand!
You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert
while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Schwartzenegger pounds it,
Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften,
your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of America,
Give Yourself a Hand!
Chrit Sengphrcahnah
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/masturbators-of-america/
