I used to get nightmares.
They differed but they also had something in common... in some way, I was being held down.
I either couldn't breathe, couldn't move, or just had no control.
I'd wake up gasping for breath. I'd open my eyes and see the safety of my room. I was safe, I was in my place, and everything would be alright.
I'm being pushed down again. I can't breathe and I have no control.
This time I can't just open my eyes...it's real.
I'm being pushed from my friends and family. I'm being pushed from my home, my entire life, from the world I've known.
I want to hide, I want to feel the same safety that I used to get but it's no longer there...there's just dread and darkness.
In my heart, I feel nothing bur anger and pain.
I want to scream, I want to yell, or even just sit in a corner a cry.
People say that everything will be alright or that I'm just overreacting.
This is not them....this is happening to me.
At the end of the day they go to the warmth of their homes while I sit in this place and wonder what's to come next. Wonder where I'll end up.
I want someone to hold me and say that everything will be alright.
I don't want Susie Sunshine I want truth...pure truth.
I want this pain to go away. I want to be near that warm light.
I want to be held and protected.
I want...
Nicole Ferencz
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/this-isn-t-much-of-a-poem-but-it-s-my-only-way-to-vent/
