Existential Angst is growing, Youth Day means no work
this Monday; I haven’t done any reading or writing yet,
just drove around in the warm winter sun and thinking
about nothing – searching for subjects to laugh about;
looking for fun – but now that the day is nearing its end;
the worry is growing again – I always worry about the
rationale for my earthly existence - justification for
being alive – and today I haven’t discovered any…
I’m growing scared, time is running out, haven’t done
anything today, didn’t care for what the newspaper had
to say, spent the day with family, a fourteen-year old
girl hating her twelve-year old brother with passionate
vengeance, the father happy to sit in the sun; I checked
the work I brought home and did not feel like starting
with it - while the feeling of guilt is growing; I never feel
like going in the right direction – I just want to dream
Embroider on the adventures of my Ludmilla and her
Semjonof…
Margaret Alice
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/never-feel-like-going-in-right-direction-6-16-2008/
