They say when drunk you cannot bluff
To say what you can’t say
Like “Thanks I think I’ve had enough”
“I’m late so I can’t stay.”
It seems the booze takes hold of you
And stops the vocal chords
From saying certain things on cue
So here are those few words:
“Gud evening Offisher, it’sh late
How clear it ish tonite
How nish to shee you at my gate
Ash I put out the light.”
“Oh Shank you ashking me to dansh
I’m awkward on my feet
Embarrash you? Oh not a chansh
I’ll shit here on my sheet.”
'I couldn’t Karaoke shing
My vocal chordsh are shtuck
I’ll lishen while you have a fling
I’ll wish you lotsh of luck.”
“No more pudding shanksh for me
I’m really on a diet
Kebabsh and shaushagesh will be
Fattening if I try it.”
“No Shanksh, now I’ve drunk my fill
No beer I’ve got to go
I’ve got to show that I have Will
Power to shay No! ”
“I really mushen’t fight in barsh
Musht keep my clothing clean
Nor will I go out driving carsh
And what I shay I mean.”
“Shank you for your offer of
A bed to share tonight
But ‘though I shink you’re gorgeous Love
I shink I know whatsh right.”
“You know I’ve got to leave right now
I’m working in the morn
No more drinksh I musht think how
I’ll welcome in the dawn.”
“Hic.”
Christopher Higginson
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/what-you-can-t-say-when-you-re-drunk/
