Had they known I was gay they would have killed me
None of my poems about peace and unity
would have kept me whole
My thick skin, my loud mouth, my anger, my fists
The God above who watches over everything
Nothing would have prevented death
The redefining of machismo taught by fathers they never even met
At the age of three, I already experienced
the damage men would do to establish manhood
My spirit had already been destined to be destroyed
at the brutal hands of my own brothers
There have always been men aware of this fate
Lovers willing to risk their lives and take me with them
Boyfriends who strike when caught in their lies
This blood has tainted many throughout the years
It has not been spilled over foreign wars or in the name of any flag
It has not been sacrificed for any revolution
or to save someone else
My soul has been sold many times over
during childhood, for a few dollars, in the name of love
Whoring myself to regularly recapture lost innocence
All of this would have only fueled the passion
of fifteen to twenty young men
Apologies would not be considered
Religion would provide no reason for regret
Mothers would celebrate their sons as saints
Though I was raised on these streets
there is no right for me to walk them
Someday I will truly get what I deserve
Men like me looking for trouble, converting little boys,
destroying family values, luring husbands to sin against wives,
This is not the world where we belong
We are not entitled to protection
The next time I find myself alone on this road
I will already be half deaf
so as not to hear the threat of their coming
I must remember to remain silent
So as not to disturb the neighbors
Emanuel Xavier
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/passage-10/
