Homeland Security warns Internet Explorer exploit could doom America to Flash hell

2014-04-29 16

The Department of Homeland Security has warned the world against an emerging threat to American interests at home and abroad. However, the threat is nothing new and the destruction left in its wake over the last 20 years has been well documented. No, it isn't Boko Haram or Communist infiltrators, Homeland Security wants you to stop using Internet Explorer.

Internet Explorer is the craptastic browser that has been integrated into every version of Windows since the first floppy disk crawled out of the primordial ooze that was MS-DOS. Every version of the browser since IE 6 has had a massive security hole related to its interaction with fellow internet malefactor, Flash. Hackers have been using the dynamic duo of IE and Flash to penetrate financial and defense organizations in the US.

What recommendation does Homeland Security have to keep us safe at night? Simply stop using Internet Explorer until Microsoft fixes the exploit (which will never happen). It seems fairly straightforward. After all, most people already stopped using IE a long time ago due to its obvious deficiencies, right?

Wrong! IE still has all of Asia firmly in its grasp. But there's no changing that.

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