Rob Ford stripped!... of most mayoral powers

2013-11-20 1

The twenty ton magic man himself, Roberto Ford, brings you yet another week of hilarity thanks to his unflappable mouth and probably a pretty sharp case of the DTs. In this installment, Ford does the American cable news circuit, telling CNN he never lied and telling Fox that he's gunning for Harper's seat as prime minister. Is it too early for NMA to officially throw our endorsement Ford's way? The only thing better for us than another term of Captain Ford crashing the H.M.S. Toronto into the Crack Rock of Gibraltar would be an upgrade to Sky Captain Ford, commander of all Canadian armed forces and maple plantations! Imagine the potential!

Unfortunately, such an appointment might not come with the commensurate hilarity that such a promotion deserves. The Toronto city council voted to strip the mayor of his most awesome powers. Thankfully there are still some powers no city council can strip, such as his famous alcohol tolerance, and his even more famous ability to blow past it at public events such as baby christenings and military funerals. And then there is his bottomless appetite for that breed of cat crossed with a beaver, you know the one. You can eat it one handed, or hands free if you're not afraid to get some on your nose. Those powers may yet prove sufficient for Ford to survive the next mayoral race in 2014, as the greater Toronto voter seems to prefer a crack smoking straight talker to an anonymous soft spoken teatotaler. In either case, Ford doesn't need the sanction of city council to shoot his mouth off, so we can expect further installments in our long running animated Canadian political drama, until they decide to revoke his already non-existent-in-Canada right to free speech.

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