Ever since Frogger kept sweaty-palmed teenagers awake at night with the prospect of watching a well-intentioned amphibian get smeared like so much board wax across a six-lane highway, generations have devoted themselves to the protection of road-crossing critters.
Case in point: a good Samaritan who chose to stop in the middle of a Florida interstate to rescue a helpless turtle. Some say slow and steady wins the race, but the harsh reality is that the only way slow and steady was going to make it across that road was in the treads of an 18 wheeler pulling over for a piss-break. That outcome was patently unacceptable to this young man, who saved the turtle from certain doom and placed him gently into the grass, right on top of an eastern diamondback rattlesnake.
Once bitten, twice shy, as the saying goes. But for one Florida man the saying shall henceforth be: "once bitten, OH MY GOD MY HAND IS THE SIZE OF A GRAPEFRUIT!" Florida's foremost antivenom experts had to be flown in to try to save the man's hand. If needles aren't your thing, then it might be hard to choose which is the less pleasant, dual venomous injection by snake fangs? Or large hypodermic needles stuck into your swollen appendage? This guy didn't have to make any such hard decision because he got the best of both worlds. Doctors say he took the whole experience in good spirits, even as he continues to get numerous painful antivenom shots in his hand to stop the tissue from dying.
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