Mike Williams, of northeast Scotland, came home to find that someone had taken a shit down his chimney. The 34-year-old carpet-fitter was stopped by a neighbor before entering his home and told that a 'ned', the Scottish term for a ruffian, had gotten up on the roof and dropped a creamy brown behemoth down the recently swept chimney. The neighbor even got a photo of the punk with his phone.
The Sunday Sport, a British publication which features lots of photos of topless women, seems to be the first to have released the story. In an article by Simon Dean, Williams recounts his version of events in colorful detail.
"I was just getting home from work when a neighbour ran up and said they had seen a wee ned shitting down the chimney. He's even taken a wee photo on his phone.
"When i open the door the smell was incredible. The wee bastards's shite had landed in the grate; it was all over the place! It was all on the rug in front of the fire. There's no way it'll brush out.
"What the hell am i going to say to the insurance? 'Och, a ned shat down the chimney'?"
Williams also made a threat to the load-leaving lad, "If I get my hands on the little bastard I'll kick him so hard in the arse he'll never shit again."
The newspaper has asked anyone recognizing the scat-master to call their offices. The Grampian Police are aware of the situation which they have described as "unpleasant and unusual".
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