Knoxville, Tennessee police arrested a naked man on Sunday after he stole construction equipment from a landscaping nursery and rode the vehicle down a nearby highway, according to a report by the Knoxville News Sentinel.
An inebriated Joseph Michael Hall made his way into a local plant nursery, where he set his sights on a Bobcat front loader.
Hold on a second though, just hear him out. The 19-year-old's got a perfectly valid explanation for all this.
The only reason he stole the skid loader was because he was trying to hide the fact that his beef baton was exposed for all to see.
So ashamed was he, in fact, that he smashed through a chain-link fence so that he could make his way home as quickly as possible.
And you know what, he almost made it. Hall was arrested just a few blocks away from his house.
Did we mention he was drunk?
Hall, who was previously convicted of driving under the influence and assault, was being held at the Knox County Detention Facility. He was booked on charges of felony theft, public intoxication, underage consumption, misdemeanor vandalism and indecent exposure.
It still remains unclear how Hall lost his clothes. Again, did we mention he was drunk?
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